Rotorua Getaway: Ashleigh Court Motel's Unbeatable Deals!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because diving into the reviews of this hotel is a bit like wading through a swamp of information – and let me tell you, I love a good swamp! Let's get messy, shall we?
Hotel Review: A Rambling Dissection (and Maybe a Breakdown)
(SEO/Metadata Notes: I'll sprinkle keywords throughout, but don't expect robotic repetition. It's about the hotel, not a keyword stuffing contest.)
Accessibility:
- Accessibility? Okay, here's where my blood pressure spikes a little. "Facilities for disabled guests" are listed, which is good. But is it truly accessible? Just listing it doesn't cut it. I'm picturing ramps that are steeper than a cat's back, elevators that mysteriously "don't work," and a general feeling of being an inconvenience. I need specifics! How wide are the doors? Are there grab bars in the bathrooms? Real, hard data, people! Without it, the "accessible" label is just a marketing ploy. ( Accessibility hotels, wheelchair access, disabled facilities – Keywords, but damn it, show me!)
On-site Restaurants/Lounges:
- Restaurants, Bars, Poolside Bar: Sounds promising! But let's be honest, a hotel restaurant can be soul-crushingly bland. I've been there; endured it. I want character. Is there a vibe? Are the staff friendly, or do they treat you like they'd rather be anywhere else? (I had one server once who basically sighed every time I asked for water. Seriously.) A la carte? Buffet? International cuisine? Fine, but tell me about the specific dishes! I want to know if the Pad Thai is legit, or if it came from a pre-packaged bag. Give me something, anything, to get excited about!
Wheelchair Accessible:
- See above. I'm still fuming about the lack of details. Tell me! Don't just whisper "accessible."
Internet Access, Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms, Etc.:
- Free Wi-Fi in all rooms? Hallelujah! Though I've experienced the "free Wi-Fi" that crawls slower than a sloth on tranquilizers. Still, it's a must-have. Internet access - LAN? I haven’t seen Ethernet ports in a hotel room since 2008. This is a good throw back… or an ancient one. Let’s see if the upload speed is better than the download speed.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax (This is Where I Thrive):
- Spa, Sauna, Steamroom, Massage, Pool with View: Okay, now we're talking. My happy place! A nice pool is a MUST! Oh, and that view? If it's of something other than a brick wall, well then, thank you. The Sauna, Steamroom, Massage, Spa are all on my list of necessities. I'm not saying I'll spend my life in the spa, but the idea that I COULD is enough.
- Anecdote: The best massage I ever got was in a tiny, dimly lit spa in Bali. The masseuse, a woman named Wayan, could twist me into a pretzel and leave me feeling blissful. The worst? A hotel spa in Vegas, where the therapist spent more time talking about her dating life than actually, you know, massaging me. I swear, all I heard was the endless, "So, he called me…" Ugh!
- Fitness Center: I'll be there. Probably after indulging in the desserts. Maybe.
- Body scrub? Body wrap? Hmmm… sounds delicious…
Cleanliness and Safety (Important, Especially These Days):
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection, Sanitized kitchen and tableware, Staff trained in safety protocol, etc.: This is the bare minimum right now. But I'm not going to lie, I love the idea of professional-grade sanitizing. I've seen the hotel room cleaning crew. I know they're not always super thorough. I need to feel safe.
- Room sanitization opt-out available? Love it! Freedom to live in my own petri dish! (Joking… mostly.)
- Anecdote: I once stayed in a "luxury" hotel where I found… a used contact lens… on the nightstand. I was horrified. My faith in humanity was shaken. Cleanliness is everything!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking (My Kryptonite):
- Asian breakfast, International cuisine, Vegetarian restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant/room: My heart sings! I get hangry when traveling, so food is a major factor. But Asian breakfast? Yes, please! I'm picturing fresh fruit, strong coffee, and maybe a little bit of something savory. (Or sweet. Let's be honest.)
- Room service [24-hour]: A godsend for those late-night cravings! Though, let's hope they actually bring what you ordered. I've had experiences…
Services and Conveniences:
- Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Luggage storage, Dry cleaning, Laundry service, etc.: Standard stuff, but appreciated. A good concierge can make or break a trip. (The concierge in Paris who got me last-minute tickets to the Louvre… bless her!)
- Facilities for disabled guests: Still waiting for those specifics.
- Cash withdrawal? A nice touch! But I rarely use cash anymore, so they still need to be able to handle payments.
For the Kids (Not my Department, but Important):
- Babysitting service, Kids facilities, etc.: Good for families! Though, as a childless adult, I sometimes appreciate the quiet.
Access, Security, and Getting Around:
- CCTV, Security, Fire extinguishers, Smoke alarms, Non-smoking rooms, etc.: Safety first! (Although I'm a rebel. I hate the smell of smoke, but I like the designated smoking areas.)
- Car park [free of charge] or [on-site]? Free parking is a huge win. (Especially when you consider those insane city parking fees.)
- Airport transfer, Taxi service: Convenience is key. I want to get to the hotel smoothly and efficiently.
Available in all rooms (The Nitty-Gritty):
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Blackout curtains, Coffee/tea maker, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, Internet, Wi-Fi, Etc.: The basics are essential. But the devil is in the details. How's the water pressure in the shower? Are the towels fluffy or scratchy? Are the pillows comfortable?
- Anecdote: I once stayed in a hotel room where the air conditioning was so loud it sounded like a jet engine. I barely slept. I'm telling you, I didn't even want to wake up.
- Separate shower/bathtub? I love a bathtub. A long, hot soak after a day of travel is pure bliss.
- Laptop workspace? I need to be able to work, even if I'm on vacation.
- Socket near the bed? YES! Never underestimate the value of a convenient power outlet!
Conclusion:
So, where does this all leave us? Honestly, I'm still on the fence. The potential is there. But the details… the specifics… are what will make or break this hotel for me. I need to know it's truly accessible, that the food is delicious, and that I can relax and rejuvenate. Can it deliver on all fronts? We'll see. But I'm armed with a healthy dose of skepticism and a strong desire for a good massage.
Cheyenne's BEST Hotel? Holiday Inn Express Review!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups. Because this Ashleigh Court Motel Rotorua itinerary? Well, it's gonna be less "polished travel brochure" and more "slightly-manic diary entry scribbled on a damp napkin after a particularly satisfying soak in a thermal pool."
Ashleigh Court Motel: Rotorua - The Unedited, Unvarnished Version
Day 1: Arrival, Anxiety, and The Promise of Fuzzy Slippers.
- 1:00 PM: ARRIVED. Rotorua. Woohoo? Honestly, traffic getting out of Auckland was a nightmare. I swear that bus driver was actively testing my patience. Ended up fantasizing about chucking a rogue pineapple out the window – a vivid mental image that, thankfully, didn't become a reality. My nerves are frayed.
- 1:30 PM: Check-in at Ashleigh Court. Okay, first impressions: cleanish. The reception lady, bless her heart, seemed to have seen some stuff over the years. Her smile was… fleeting. But, hey, she gave me the key, and that's what matters. Plus, the brochure promised "comfort and charm." (Fingers crossed that charm isn't a euphemism for "faded curtains and a lingering smell of mildew.")
- 2:00 PM: Room recon. Disappointment. I'm not sure about the curtains; they're definitely faded. The bathroom is tiny. However! There's a functioning kettle and a packet of instant coffee. These will be my lifeline. Wait! There are slippers! And they're fluffy! Score a point for Ashleigh Court. Immediately put them on. Instant comfort. I already feel slightly better, thank goodness!
- 2:30 PM: Rambling. Okay, deep breaths. I need to recalibrate. This isn't the Ritz, but it’s a place to sleep. I’m trying. I'm also considering whether or not to unpack or live out of the suitcase. The latter is a very bad habit. Must resist.
- 3:00 PM: The Blue Baths - Holy moly, it's stunning! Old-fashioned, elegant, and the water is just… divine. I spent a good amount of time simply staring at the ceiling, letting the stress melt away. The water was perfect. This is going to be my absolute highlight!
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. Disappointing. Not as good as the hype. I'm still full of the experience at the Blue Baths.
- 7:30 PM: Back to the room. Fluffy slippers are still on. Instant coffee devoured. Curtains examined again. They are still faded. Must find something to do!
- 8:00 PM: Reading.
Day 2: Geothermal Wonders, and Questionable Chicken Nuggets.
- 8:00 AM: Tried to make breakfast, failed miserably. Too tired.
- 9:00 AM: Wai-O-Tapu Thermal Wonderland. Okay, wow. The Champagne Pool is unreal. It's like a vibrant, otherworldly painting. The Lady Knox Geyser erupted right on time! (Made me feel like I was witnessing a miracle, in a totally cynical way). It was packed, though. So many selfie sticks. I may have developed a slight aversion to selfie sticks.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. I decided to be "adventurous." Big mistake. Grabbed some takeaway chicken nuggets. I was so hungry. The nuggets were the colour of sadness. I ate three (out of immense hunger) before chucking them in the bin. Feeling slightly bilious, and full of regret.
- 1:00 PM: Te Puia. Geysers!! Mud pools! Maori culture! The guide was informative and charming. The cultural performance was amazing. I cried. Yes, me, the jaded traveller, actually cried. It was incredibly moving.
- 4:00 PM: Back at the motel. Contemplating the faded curtains. And the nugget incident.
- 5:00 PM: Decided to attempt a walk. Failed.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. I am going to order pizza!
- 8:00 PM: Watching TV in fluffy slippers.
Day 3: The Rotorua Shuffle, and Possibly, A Little Bit of Magic.
- 9:00 AM: Trying to get out of bed. It's cold. Really cold. Must. Get. Up.
- 10:00 AM: Polynesian Spa. Okay, THIS is more like it. Multiple hot pools, different temperatures, a lake view. Spent several hours alternating between blissful relaxation and existential contemplation. The best part? No chicken nuggets.
- 2:00 PM: Tried to find a decent cafe. Failed.
- 3:00 PM: Getting ready to leave.
- 4:00 PM: Goodbye Ashleigh Court Motel. You were… an experience. The fluffy slippers will be missed. The faint smell of mildew, not so much. Rotorua, you’ve been… interesting. And, despite the occasional (and epic) food fail, I think I might actually miss the place. Maybe there was a bit of magic here after all. Time to go now, but I think I might be a bit sad to leave.
Alright, so what is all this supposed to actually be about, eh? Some kind of fancy-pants magic show? Some super-secret club invite? Honestly, the name should be more clear.
Look, even *I'm* not completely sure anymore. It started with a whim, a stray thought, a yearning for… something. It was a project, ya know? Something to occupy my time. And then… well, you know how these things go. Like that sourdough starter I tried to keep alive for a month – disaster. This is kinda like that. A little bit of a digital scrapbook, but instead of photos of my stupid cat sleeping, it's full of… *this*. It's thoughts. Feelings. Random tangents. And sometimes, just plain ol' bewilderment.
Helpful? Oh, honey, probably not. Unless you count "how *not* to start a project" as helpful life advice. I mean, do you *need* a good laugh? Because that's about the extent of the usefulness here. Or perhaps a cry? I've got a few of those tucked away in the recesses of the… well, you get the idea.
But hey, if you actually *do* find it helpful? Great! High five! If you, like me, feel a little bit… off-kilter in this world, maybe you'll find some solace here. Maybe. Or maybe this is just me talkin' to my own self, and that's fine too. I talk to myself a lot, especially when I'm folding laundry. The socks have opinions, let me tell you.
Ah yes, the golden question: "Why all the rambling?! Just get to the point already!" Look, my sweet summer child, you're barking up the wrong tree. This isn't some perfectly manicured blog post designed for optimal SEO. It's more… a mental dump, a free-form jazz solo. I am *incapable* of getting directly to the point.
My brain? It's like a highway exit ramp leading to a never-ending parade of tangents. Accept the mess. Embrace the chaos. Trust me, if everything were efficient and "to the point," life would be dreadfully, mind-numbingly *boring*. And who wants that? No, no, no. Give me the winding roads and the unexpected detours any day. Those are where the real stories are hiding.
Ooh, good question! The truly important stuff. My favorite color? It's… well, it changes. Because I'm indecisive. It's fickle. Depends on the weather, the mood I'm in, what time of season... You know, those things.
Right now? Hmm. Right now, I'd have to say the color of a perfectly ripe plum. That deep, dark purple, almost black, with a hint of that frosty "bloom" on the skin? Yeah. Something about it just feels… satisfying. Mysterious. Kinda like me, I suppose. (Alright, alright, don't get cocky, me.)
Oh, you want *that* story, huh? The one with the… the… the… Well, you know. Let’s just say it involves… a cat, a very unfortunate incident with a cheese grater, and a regrettable decision involving glitter and a particularly vengeful squirrel. You want it?
Alright. Fine. But I'm warning you right now, this is going to take a while. Buckle up, because this is a story that I am not quite ready to let even myself look at, but you asked for it
Okay, okay, here we go… it was, what, ten years ago? Maybe twelve? Hard to say, time has this way of blurring details like that. Anyway, it was the height of summer, sweltering hot-- you could fry an egg on the sidewalk. And, I was on vacation. A *real* vacation, the kind where I actually *left* my apartment. Went to the, you wanna hear it? The… the beach.
I was at the beach, and I met this... *man*. He was tall, and thin, and had a laugh that sounded like gravel rolling down a hill. His name was… well, let's just say it's best I don’t reveal *that* bit of information, for several reasons. He spent most of his time talking about himself, and he was, let's just say… *annoying* (and I mean, seriously annoying). The worst part? He kept talking about his cat. *My god*. "Mittens this," "Mittens that". Mittens was apparently the center of his universe. I *loathed* Mittens from the get-go. Never saw her. Never wanted to.
So this one day, he was going on and ON about how Mittens *hated* the cheese grater. "Oh, Mittens, she just can't stand the cheese grater, she runs away!"... *and*… it was like something in my brain snapped. I thought it would be a laugh, just a light moment that would be something funny about Mittens. A moment of bonding. He actually had the nerve to say how "sweet" Mittens was. I thought I'd be nice. I took a walk to a shop, bought some… *glitter* (don't judge me, you can't judge me for making a joke) and a cheese grater, and snuck back. The plan was simple… leave a little note. Make it a joke. A light moment. But oh, no, it got worse. *So much worse*.
I, for some reason, thought it'd be a *brilliant* idea… and just like that, things wentEscape To Inns
